Feb 26, 2023 7:19:36 GMT
Post by Corsen Russell on Feb 26, 2023 7:19:36 GMT
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[attr="class","revcallname"]CORSEN
RUSSELL
[attr="class","revcalllyric"]OUR OWN MINDS EVENTUALLY LEAD US TO THE PATH[break]OF OUR OWN DEMISE
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| [attr="class","revcallbar1"] ALIAS red | [attr="class","revcallbar1"] AGE nineteen | [attr="class","revcallbar1"] PRONOUNS she/they | [attr="class","revcallbar1"] OCCUPATION unemployed | [attr="class","revcallbar1"] HEIGHT 4'11" |
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It was obvious to Corsen's parents that she was born wrong. The pallor of her skin and the crimson sheen of her eyes made that obvious enough. That's why they gave her away, not even to anyone in particular. Left on a doorstep to an oprhanage, swaddled in a basket.
[break][break]
Albinism is not one singular thing, it is a branch of disability. While CHS albinism does not carry the quakey nature of the reddened eyes that is most common, it does exist in comorbidity with multiple neurodivergencies and creates a tendency to bruise and bleed profusely in individuals.
[break][break]
Corsen is one such individual. She spent more time in hospitals than she did orphanages or public schooling, early infections in her life having led to a suite of other health hazards.
[break][break]
Corsen Russell, her last name provided to her by law rather than heritage, has always thought of herself as a perfectly fine individual. Just sort of okay. She's spent a great deal of time thinking of herself, in fact, and can't think of anything special about herself that isn't also a flaw, so really it's no surprise that she would never be adopted.
[break][break]
She tended to be a quiet girl, the kind to collect books as gifts even if she greatly preferred the company of a CD over words on a page. While this and a soft presence made her approachable, it was difficult for her to foster friendships. She craved connection dearly, but was prone to seating herself alone, to growing frustrated with bothersome individuals, to morose pondering on her condition in a way that might put others off...
[break][break]
Every day for the poor girl was a risk, you see. A sunbeam could burn her, a bright room irritate her eyes into producing a migraine, even fumbling and bracing against a wall would leave her heavily bruised, and god forbid she catch a cut.
[break][break]
When she was younger, didn't understand as well, she spent her excess energy on the environment around her. Playing. Even begging to get into schooling to fight her isolation. But a few scrapes, a few infections, an inordinate dose of bad luck. She was too young to recall what they called it, stiff doctors in too-bright rooms. But she recalls being told she'd be lucky to still be able to move her limbs by the time she was thirty.
[break][break]
Now her ire with her own lot in life bleeds into energy locked away to inaction. When broken from the reverie of herself, she tends towards lashing out. Preferably with something heavy and metal.
[break][break]
The worst day of Corsen's life was when a charitable donation to the orphanage allowed it enough money to purchase the medical supplies that would allow her to stay within her room. By that point she was fifteen and had already been pulled from public schooling... As much as the very smell of a sterilized hallway put her ill at ease, as much as she hated the tacky feeling of sunscreen and sweating under too many clothes, she enjoyed the chance to go outside.
[break][break]
No, that's inaccurate. She enjoyed what it was like outside, but did not enjoy the process of taking herself there. Rather, she much preferred the small measure of control that was a space of her own, even if the occasional bad dream or nosy caretaker provided interruption.
[break][break]
As discontent with isolation as she was, she knew she would choose no other option for herself. With accomodations made and every day a chore, she could not trick herself into being motivated to act, so she internally anguished as a nice woman walked her through the controls for her bed and showed her how to reach an outlet to recharge a shitty old DS.
[break][break]
Everything got worse.
[break][break]
Her health was always going to be a line straight down, physically, and no doubt mentally, that was no surprise...
[break][break]
But every day was a fight against her own urges. What would happen if she just threw a chair through a window and left? She had a place she stashed things back when she used to sneak out and around between trips to school or the doctor's. Would it still be there? It had been years more by now... What would happen if someone came to annoy her, having a key to the door she never opened so they could care for her, and she just hit them?
[break][break]
That altering light got the chance before she ever did. Finally, an outside force had pushed her outside again, and she hated every second of it. But spite is an excellent motivator, and a ruined building an excellent reason to run. She didn't look back.
[break][break]
Her stash was still there.
diagnosis
It was obvious to Corsen's parents that she was born wrong. The pallor of her skin and the crimson sheen of her eyes made that obvious enough. That's why they gave her away, not even to anyone in particular. Left on a doorstep to an oprhanage, swaddled in a basket.
[break][break]
Albinism is not one singular thing, it is a branch of disability. While CHS albinism does not carry the quakey nature of the reddened eyes that is most common, it does exist in comorbidity with multiple neurodivergencies and creates a tendency to bruise and bleed profusely in individuals.
[break][break]
Corsen is one such individual. She spent more time in hospitals than she did orphanages or public schooling, early infections in her life having led to a suite of other health hazards.
[break][break]
treatment
Corsen Russell, her last name provided to her by law rather than heritage, has always thought of herself as a perfectly fine individual. Just sort of okay. She's spent a great deal of time thinking of herself, in fact, and can't think of anything special about herself that isn't also a flaw, so really it's no surprise that she would never be adopted.
[break][break]
She tended to be a quiet girl, the kind to collect books as gifts even if she greatly preferred the company of a CD over words on a page. While this and a soft presence made her approachable, it was difficult for her to foster friendships. She craved connection dearly, but was prone to seating herself alone, to growing frustrated with bothersome individuals, to morose pondering on her condition in a way that might put others off...
[break][break]
Every day for the poor girl was a risk, you see. A sunbeam could burn her, a bright room irritate her eyes into producing a migraine, even fumbling and bracing against a wall would leave her heavily bruised, and god forbid she catch a cut.
[break][break]
When she was younger, didn't understand as well, she spent her excess energy on the environment around her. Playing. Even begging to get into schooling to fight her isolation. But a few scrapes, a few infections, an inordinate dose of bad luck. She was too young to recall what they called it, stiff doctors in too-bright rooms. But she recalls being told she'd be lucky to still be able to move her limbs by the time she was thirty.
[break][break]
Now her ire with her own lot in life bleeds into energy locked away to inaction. When broken from the reverie of herself, she tends towards lashing out. Preferably with something heavy and metal.
[break][break]
nightmare
The worst day of Corsen's life was when a charitable donation to the orphanage allowed it enough money to purchase the medical supplies that would allow her to stay within her room. By that point she was fifteen and had already been pulled from public schooling... As much as the very smell of a sterilized hallway put her ill at ease, as much as she hated the tacky feeling of sunscreen and sweating under too many clothes, she enjoyed the chance to go outside.
[break][break]
No, that's inaccurate. She enjoyed what it was like outside, but did not enjoy the process of taking herself there. Rather, she much preferred the small measure of control that was a space of her own, even if the occasional bad dream or nosy caretaker provided interruption.
[break][break]
As discontent with isolation as she was, she knew she would choose no other option for herself. With accomodations made and every day a chore, she could not trick herself into being motivated to act, so she internally anguished as a nice woman walked her through the controls for her bed and showed her how to reach an outlet to recharge a shitty old DS.
[break][break]
Everything got worse.
[break][break]
Her health was always going to be a line straight down, physically, and no doubt mentally, that was no surprise...
[break][break]
But every day was a fight against her own urges. What would happen if she just threw a chair through a window and left? She had a place she stashed things back when she used to sneak out and around between trips to school or the doctor's. Would it still be there? It had been years more by now... What would happen if someone came to annoy her, having a key to the door she never opened so they could care for her, and she just hit them?
[break][break]
That altering light got the chance before she ever did. Finally, an outside force had pushed her outside again, and she hated every second of it. But spite is an excellent motivator, and a ruined building an excellent reason to run. She didn't look back.
[break][break]
Her stash was still there.
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