Nov 15, 2023 1:13:34 GMT
Post by Elara Salisbury on Nov 15, 2023 1:13:34 GMT
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[attr="class","revcallname"]Elara
Salisbury
[attr="class","revcalllyric"]Where do I even go now?
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| [attr="class","revcallbar1"] ALIAS Eels | [attr="class","revcallbar1"] AGE Thirty-three | [attr="class","revcallbar1"] PRONOUNS She/Her | [attr="class","revcallbar1"] OCCUPATION Wanderer | [attr="class","revcallbar1"] HEIGHT 5’10” |
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Everyone leaves, it seems. Everything falls apart, back to the beginning. I don’t know that I should have ever tried to build my own life. It feels like I just wasted my time.[break][break]
Born to a different name with a distinctly less-than-tolerant family, Elara knew something was wrong pretty quickly. No, not the cruel father and apathetic mother, though that was definitely a big problem. Not the way she was shunned by most of her peers, but that was a bit closer. She just always felt off. It took reaching the age of sixteen and meeting other people like her to make something click. She began a double life, and was nearly kicked out of her home multiple times, but managed to scrape by and lie, making promises she had no intention of keeping. At seventeen she had a job in a little pastry shop, serving tea and scones and whatever else, and by eighteen Elara had managed to put away a few months rent in a friend’s savings account. She moved out as soon as school was done. She was finally free to pursue her creativity, to live as herself, to find that little slice of peace that would nourish her soul.[break][break]
But not really all that free, as she would find out. Taking on a second job ate up most of the time she had wanted to actualize herself, to write, to volunteer. The third job- well, odd jobs, sorting people’s college applications and tutoring their essays- that one proved to really devour the rest of her energy. What little Elara had left for her poems and novella was spent just trying to exist. Turns out having little agency in how you get around, how you get your food, really takes up all that precious time she was already strapped for. Add to that her roommates who were just as miserable as she was, but who didn’t seem as interested in banding together as they did tearing each other down…[break][break]
Well it was doomed to fail. Elara found out the friend in charge of paying the rent had been pocketing it for two months when they were served an eviction notice. She had to move out, and this started a chain of moving, problems, time-loss, jobs being shitty. It was hard to hold down a bed at this point, let alone find time to write, to have any semblance of fun.[break][break]
It was luck, really, that at twenty-one Eels met someone not just sympathetic, but invested. A wonderful woman at the food bank, a couple years older and making a breakthrough as a musician. Wendy wasn’t quite famous, but able to pay the bills, and very cool to boot. She offered Eel an affordable room, and somehow wasn’t a total nightmare of a person? They hit it off platonically, and romance wasn’t too far behind. Eel had more time to write, she was able to drop one of her jobs and tutor less. She found some traction with a fantasy story centering the kinds of characters you don’t get to read about as much, and managed to pitch it to a mid-level editing company and cut a nice deal. She found time to volunteer and write blog-pieces highlighting under-served communities, something of a small-time internet journalist. She and Wendy got married.[break][break]
By age thirty Eel was paying her bills and saving money, and not just the coffee-shop levels, but the maybe-put-a-payment-on-a-house-soon levels. Between her and Wendy, it really felt like there may be a nice future in this bleak world. Elara was, dare she say it, happy?[break][break]
Well, nothing seems permanent for her.[break][break]
The next few years went “fine,” but things were distinctly off. The relationship stagnated, Wendy being busy with her burgeoning career and an old illness of Eel’s flaring up in a chronic way. Elara was becoming sick more and more often, with bouts of extreme vomiting, and her depression came back hard and settled in. Wendy eventually left, saying that they’d just grown apart, but Eel couldn’t help but feel like she was just..inadequate. The writing dwindled, book sales fell apart, and friendships failed.[break][break]
It was all falling apart, just like things always did. The way it was supposed to, she guessed. [break][break]
Everyone leaves, it seems. Everything falls apart, back to the beginning. I don’t know that I should have ever tried to build my own life. It feels like I just wasted my time.[break][break]
backstory
Born to a different name with a distinctly less-than-tolerant family, Elara knew something was wrong pretty quickly. No, not the cruel father and apathetic mother, though that was definitely a big problem. Not the way she was shunned by most of her peers, but that was a bit closer. She just always felt off. It took reaching the age of sixteen and meeting other people like her to make something click. She began a double life, and was nearly kicked out of her home multiple times, but managed to scrape by and lie, making promises she had no intention of keeping. At seventeen she had a job in a little pastry shop, serving tea and scones and whatever else, and by eighteen Elara had managed to put away a few months rent in a friend’s savings account. She moved out as soon as school was done. She was finally free to pursue her creativity, to live as herself, to find that little slice of peace that would nourish her soul.[break][break]
But not really all that free, as she would find out. Taking on a second job ate up most of the time she had wanted to actualize herself, to write, to volunteer. The third job- well, odd jobs, sorting people’s college applications and tutoring their essays- that one proved to really devour the rest of her energy. What little Elara had left for her poems and novella was spent just trying to exist. Turns out having little agency in how you get around, how you get your food, really takes up all that precious time she was already strapped for. Add to that her roommates who were just as miserable as she was, but who didn’t seem as interested in banding together as they did tearing each other down…[break][break]
Well it was doomed to fail. Elara found out the friend in charge of paying the rent had been pocketing it for two months when they were served an eviction notice. She had to move out, and this started a chain of moving, problems, time-loss, jobs being shitty. It was hard to hold down a bed at this point, let alone find time to write, to have any semblance of fun.[break][break]
It was luck, really, that at twenty-one Eels met someone not just sympathetic, but invested. A wonderful woman at the food bank, a couple years older and making a breakthrough as a musician. Wendy wasn’t quite famous, but able to pay the bills, and very cool to boot. She offered Eel an affordable room, and somehow wasn’t a total nightmare of a person? They hit it off platonically, and romance wasn’t too far behind. Eel had more time to write, she was able to drop one of her jobs and tutor less. She found some traction with a fantasy story centering the kinds of characters you don’t get to read about as much, and managed to pitch it to a mid-level editing company and cut a nice deal. She found time to volunteer and write blog-pieces highlighting under-served communities, something of a small-time internet journalist. She and Wendy got married.[break][break]
By age thirty Eel was paying her bills and saving money, and not just the coffee-shop levels, but the maybe-put-a-payment-on-a-house-soon levels. Between her and Wendy, it really felt like there may be a nice future in this bleak world. Elara was, dare she say it, happy?[break][break]
Well, nothing seems permanent for her.[break][break]
The next few years went “fine,” but things were distinctly off. The relationship stagnated, Wendy being busy with her burgeoning career and an old illness of Eel’s flaring up in a chronic way. Elara was becoming sick more and more often, with bouts of extreme vomiting, and her depression came back hard and settled in. Wendy eventually left, saying that they’d just grown apart, but Eel couldn’t help but feel like she was just..inadequate. The writing dwindled, book sales fell apart, and friendships failed.[break][break]
It was all falling apart, just like things always did. The way it was supposed to, she guessed. [break][break]
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Ymir Attack on Titan
LOOKS LIKE
Ymir Attack on Titan
PHARAOH LEAP CREATES
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